Every beginning of the year, we always hope that the year will “the one”. The year where everything falls into place and perfect – that it wouldn’t be like the previous years. We hope it will finally be our year. However, there will always be ups and downs, bumpy rides along the way, unexpected roadblocks we’ll encounter, etc. But despite everything that happened, there will always be significant life lessons to learn and experiences to take with us. These lessons and experiences are the ones that mold us into a better person – the person we are today. Reflecting back on 2019, here’s what I’ve learnt.
1. It is okay to say “no”.
You don’t have to be afraid to say no if there are already too many things on your plate. It is always better to focus on one thing rather than to juggle multiple things at the same time. Not only you’ll stress yourself out, but you won’t be able to perform well because your mind have so many other things to think about. Don’t ever feel bad about saying no. You don’t have to make excuses, and you definitely don’t have to feel regret or remorse.
2. You can’t control people’s thoughts and words, but you can control how you react.
A friend once told me this – it’s their mouth and they can say whatever they wanna say. It’s true that we can’t control their thoughts or their words, we can choose to either let those words affect us or to brush it off. If what you are doing makes you happy or you are doing the right thing, don’t let their words discourage you.
3. Quality over quantity.
As you get older, quality in friends are more important than the quantity. It is okay to have smaller group of friends. You don’t need to have a big inner circle of friends to feel loved, belong, and valued. This brings me to the next point.
4. Appreciate those that have been there for you.
We often get busy with work and our life that sometimes, we forget about the people that matters to us. We forget the ones that have been there for us through the thick and thin. The ones that gave us their listening ears and their shoulder to cry on. It is easy to take for granted that the people we have now will always be there in future. But we forget that life is short. We will never know when will be the last time we’ll see them or talk to them. All it takes is just one accident or an incurable sickness and we will never see them again. So value the moments with them now. Send them appreciation text once in a while.
5. It is okay to let people go.
Not everyone are meant to stick with us for our entire life. Don’t be afraid to let these people go – people that don’t treat you right, people that take advantage of you, people that don’t add value in your life. Yes, it may be disappointing and hurtful that you value the friendship and you have been there for them but all they do is treat you like you’re nothing to them. Those people do not deserve you. It takes two hands to clap, and likewise, it takes two people for a friendship or relationship to work. It’s true what they say that some people are only here for a season to teach us a lesson. Know that it’s completely okay to let them go.
6. Enough with the “what ifs”.
Like I’ve mentioned in point number 4, life is short. So don’t let the “what ifs” stop you from doing something you enjoy. Yes, sometimes bad things happen and things go wrong. Sometimes you will not be chosen or liked. You might get rejected and people may not understand you, but what if you keep choosing to move forward and just enjoy your life no matter what? Sometimes we are so wrapped up with the endless possibilities of the things that can go wrong in our lives that we miss out on the things that could go right if we decide to think differently and choose to look in another perspective. Don’t let the what ifs stop you from doing the things you always wanted to do and stress you out. Because what if everything works out just fine? This brings me to the next lesson I’ve learnt.
7. Live in the moment.
The past is called a past for a reason. And nobody knows what the future holds. So stop worrying what might happened and just enjoy the “now”. It’s tiring worrying about the things that have already happened and things that might not even happen. Enjoy today for we do not know what tomorrow brings. Stop looking back on what you’ve failed and what you’ve lost, and just appreciate that you are alive and well today. Take deep breaths, slow down, stop thinking about the past, stop worrying about the future, and just enjoy what you have now.
8. Live your life for yourself.
Lastly, live your life for yourself instead of others. We are not here to live someone else’s life so stop living based on their opinions and their approval. Everyone has their own life journey. Your journey is different from theirs. So stop comparing. So what if they are already married with kids and you are still finding yourself? We often let society tells us the definition of a perfect and successful life. But you know what? No life is perfect. And everyone has their own definition of success. Each and everyone of us has our own challenges to overcome and everyone grows at different pace. Stop worrying about what others think and start pursuing the things that excites you in the morning. Because at the end of the day, it’s your life. Take ownership.
It’s okay to not have life completely figured out. Because none of us really do, and that’s what makes life interesting.
What are some of the things you learnt in 2019?