Towards the end of 2013

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Hello my lovely readers!
2014 is almost here! How was 2013 for you? Was it a great year? Or was it a year you just wanna quickly get past it? This is gonna be a long post, so hope you can bare with me. 🙂

For me, 2013 has been a challenging year. There were a lot of “downs” more than “ups” especially in the middle of the year. But towards the end of the year, it kinda improved a little. A lot of my plans have been changed. Below are some of the things that happened last year.

1) I lost both of my grandpas in less than a month and it was unexpected. All my grandparents are very healthy. Well, minus the diabetes, high blood pressure and all. I don’t consider these as major sickness if you know what I mean. At least it’s not stroke or heart attack. Anyway, my maternal grandpa passed away a day before my birthday. A day before… Can you imagine? I was looking forward to my 21st birthday when the news broke. 🙁 My dad’s side then passed away in less than a month after my mum’s side. I wasn’t fully recovered from the 1st one yet and another one was taken from me. That was my super duper down moment as I never lost a close relative before. Mostly the funeral I went are all parents’ cousins or grand aunts / grand uncles which I don’t really see often. So when both my grandpas were taken from me, it was hard for me.

2) I graduated from college. This is both a good and a bad thing cuz it felt like I’ve accomplished something, but also at the same time it felt like time has move so fast and I didn’t really get to enjoy college life enough. Graduation also means that I have to say goodbye to college life and hello working life, which is just too fast and I don’t want to work yet. Just not ready for it.

3) Planned to go to UK to further studies but failed. Well, I actually thought I could leave Penang and explore other places by furthering my studies but it didn’t happen when we (my dad & I) gotta know about the price of the universities there. It was not cheap at all. I was a little bump out when I know there’s no chance I could go. Guess I was too excited about it and my expectation was a little too high.

4) I decided to let go of 2 friends and one of them has been my best buddy for 4 years. You can read the entire story here. It was hard for me to move on that time, but I’m better now. Started to hang out with different people and different crowd.

As you see, above are some of the things that happened in 2013 and they didn’t happen once in a blue moon. They all came one after another. Before I could fully heal from one, another one came. I felt alone and depressed. To a point I start questioning why am I here for? To a point I see no meaning in life. It was that bad. But slowly, I started to realize that all these that happened weren’t there to break me, but it was God removing certain things in my life so there’s space for new things and that He can mold me into the person He wants me to be. Yeah, I was bump when I decided to let go of the 2 friends, but I also realize after letting go, I’m more open to new people and started to hang out with people I hardly hang out with before because I was too busy hanging out with that friend.

I believed things happened for a reason and I started to see those reason slowly. It took time and it wasn’t easy. But when the you started to see those reasons, it’s worth to go through it because it clearly have made me stronger and a better person. I admit that I was going too fast last year. I was stressing myself out with work and all that I hardly have time for myself. And some of these that happened…well, it was there to slow me down. The others were there as a lesson for me to learn. Life isn’t only consists about work and the same group of friends you hang out with. There are more in it that are still undiscovered and the only way for us to discover is to make some changes. Some of the things are meant to let go so that new things can enter.

2013 started to become better for me towards the end of the year because I started to realize all these. Looking back, I see those reasons why it happened. If you ask me what’s 2013 was for me in one word, I would say 2013 was a year of CHANGE. And I felt that 2014 is gonna be an amazing year for me. It’s gonna be a year filled with SURPRISES because there are so many rooms for new things. 😉


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